What happened to the Art of Conversation?

We never talk any more...

The rise in nationalism around the world in recent years is unmistakable. It often starts when a minor party latches on to some characteristic of a sector of society which they can identify as not emanating from their country. This is not news to any of us.

Most obviously, they label people who are first, second or even third generation immigrants as being different – not ‘one of us’. The most common differences might be religious affiliation, language or skin colour. The party, especially if political, attributes real or imagined economic and social woes to this group and whips up hatred among its followers for the identified outsiders. I believe this is called ‘Othering’. [I hope grammarians will forgive this lapse on my part, forcing an adjective to work as a verb]. People have always fled oppression in their own country and there have always been economic migrants. To an extent, then, ‘Suck it up, Buttercup’.

But if they try to establish a centre of their own culture in a new country, a larger cohort of residents might begin to object and view them with dislike. Generation of hatred of immigrants, by itself, is morally questionable. Turning them away can be economically damaging for the country as whole. Migrants often bring skills and a willingness to perform menial tasks which are shunned by natives. On the downside, their cultural changes aren’t always welcome.

This national tendency towards isolation is often mirrored by the smaller geographic areas making up those nations. It’s usually encouraged by the legal framework of a country. In America, it might be States, many of which have economies equivalent to a small independent country. Each has autonomy to set local taxes, some laws and they have their own security forces. Many assert these individual rights vigorously, even to the point of threatening to become independent of the federal body.

If we look at the next smallest constituent part, the city or town, then it’s true to say that mostly good-natured competition between neighbouring townships has been keen since they were first formed.

What I want to highlight are the changes being wrought to the individuals in our society by certain technological advances. They often drive isolation while pretending to do the opposite. Remember Microsoft’s ‘Where do you want to go today?’ invitation to use its browser? Am I in danger of conflating technological advancement empowering individuals with jingoism?

No longer do we have to drive over to a neighbouring town to visit the car dealership stocking the vehicle we are interested in. Numerous websites list examples of the vehicle and (for an additional fee) they can deliver it to your door. All manner of consumer goods can be obtained ‘from the comfort of your own home’, as ads often proclaim. The weekly shop can be sourced online and delivered to your door. These miracles do, indeed, empower the individual. But you don’t have to talk to anyone to achieve your aim.

As a lad, I’d make sure I could be sitting in front of the TV at a particular time on a particular evening when my desired show was to be aired. No longer! Anything can be dialled up and shown whenever I want to watch it. And the next episode. And the next… A brain-numbing hosepipe of unedifying nonsense - ‘binge-watching’. Does it make me a better person to watch three episodes of something at once?

Instead of walking to the local phone box or using a telephone on the wall in our houses, we now carry devices to talk to anyone (or their voicemail) at any time or anywhere we want. Or stream films, search for items to buy, take photographs and more. The last time I travelled by train, all the passengers were silent, heads bent over portable devices as they swiped headline feeds teasing tidbits masquerading as news information. And don’t get me started on the algorythmic curation of those feeds!

Look around the next time you go outside. I bet you see men and women, boys and girls walking along, eyes glued to their phones. Instead of looking at the environment, their behaviour radiates Fear Of Missing Out on some nonsensical media notification.

A popular science host here in the UK, Professor Alice Roberts, is a clinical anatomist by training. She has observed that evolution continues to adapt our bodies at a remarkable rate. She notes changes in the muscle attachments in the upper spines of young people and postulates that they need longer and stronger muscles to support their heads in this constantly bent position.

Please understand, I’m not against technological advances. They are truly wonderful. I’ve ranted before about self-driving motor cars which try to avoid crashes and can park themselves. I do admit that they are fiendishly clever and I admire the brains which created these amazing pieces of kit.

But when do we talk to each other, these days?

I sat at dinner last night with a bunch of old fogies, most older than me. We looked each other in the eye; we debated all manner of topics, disagreeing on occasion, but doing so respectfully, lobbing logic and reason at each other. Sometimes, just sometimes, a person would change their mind. These were not debating competitions with winners and losers – they were discussions between aged members of society, each bringing his own life experience to back his point of view. Nobody Googled supporting evidence for their assertions.

This was not a perfect and blissful scenario, however. The level of noise in the room, the faded hearing ability of most participants and, one must admit, the slurred speech of gradual intoxication after the pudding course were real hazards for us to overcome. My throat aches still from my efforts to relay across the tablecloth what I saw as important points.

However, the whole evening made me realise that conversation is rare. To converse with another human for longer than it takes to negotiate a purchase is a luxury these days. As I said my goodbyes and shook hands with my companions, their eyes all sparkled with interest, excitement and joie de vivre. Ok, perhaps it was the wine…

What do you think? Do you talk to people? Do you sit with your family or friends at mealtime and discuss things? Do you (horror of horrors) talk to others on the train or bus? Would you use a Buddy Bench? (Google it…)

Let me know!

Slugs at a dinner table debating politics