The Sciurian Invaders
A new enemy threatens my garden
Thankfully, my spring and summer nemesis, the slugs, have now repaired below ground to consider their options for 2025. Will they emerge when the weather warms to massacre the tiny tendrils of green shoots which I hope will provide food and colour in my garden? I imagine some nightmarish circular gathering in which the Chief Slug holds court. He congratulates the most destructive beasties which escaped my ministrations; perhaps he hands out slimy prizes – I don’t know.
“The prize for ‘Most Marigolds toppled in an evening’ goes to… “
Perhaps he sets out the Plan of Destruction for the New Year. Details are left hazy, as they don’t know my planting layout yet. But he makes educated guesses, based on the last couple of years. Maybe he reorganises the slugs into battalions and squadrons, the better to attack the entire growing surface all at once.
He doesn’t yet know I’ve ordered several batches of nematodes to be deployed next year.
Heh, heh, heh. I’ll be sure to update you all with my results.
But as they say, one door closes and another opens. Winter approaches, the temperature drops and the Grey Squirrels become more of a pest than normal.
My trusty hound …well, sheepdog, Arrow, who has featured in this blog before, knows that Sciurus carolinensis is to be chased, caught and despatched whenever and wherever he goes outside. Any squirrelly intruder trespassing on his property is an especially egregious matter. He regards them as the vanguard of the Sciurian Horde, coming to take over from we weak humans. You may be aware that the previous year’s squirrel kits like to show off to their mates. Just like teenaged humans, really. They roam the neighbourhood, ring-barking established trees (which kills them) and digging up plants, chewing electrical wires, biting off growing sprigs of young trees and other plants and generally being vandals and making a nuisance of themselves.
Of course, at this time of year, squirrels are busily hiding acorns and other foods in order to have a cache of sustenance to get them through what might be a hard winter. But they often choose the centre of my carefully laid and maintained lawn. Ok, their digging isn’t as damaging as that of badgers – which make one’s garden resemble a 1st World War battlefield – but those 6” bare patches are an unsightly invitation to weeds. Or they make little slots between perennial plants, admitting light and pests and disease to their root systems. To illustrate how sneaky these little blighters are, scientists who study squirrel behaviour (‘You do what? Get a Life!) observe that many individuals only pretend to bury food in order to fool other squirrels. They even look around to make sure they cannot be seen before ripping up the ground and inserting their woody treats.
In the UK, we are fortunate still to have small populations of the native Red Squirrels - Sciurus vulgaris. The American Grey Squirrels are an invasive, non-native species. The Reds inspired Beatrix Potter’s character, the cheeky Squirrel Nutkin who narrowly escaped Old Brown Owl, in her imagination. This book followed her success with ‘The Tale of Peter Rabbit’.
Red Squirrels are susceptible to a pox which is carried by Greys but does them no harm. The Reds have been reduced to tiny areas of conifer forest in the north and a protected island, Brownsea Island, in Poole Harbour in the south. They are protected because of their rarity now, but there is no such protection for the murderous, vandalising, havoc-wreaking Grey!
So I can let Arrow loose in the garden and in nearby woods to run and chase and do his best to drive the Greys somewhere else. My conscience is clear.
As are the flower beds right now…